One of the benefits of therapy is discovering insights into yourself and others so that you understand yourself and others better. I have found that the best way to make these discoveries comes from the combination of talk therapy with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which balances the body’s energy system with what we call “psychological acupuncture.”
Since EFT reduces the negative sting of distressing emotions, leaving you feeling relaxed and calm, it allows you to think more objectively and see things more clearly. That change often results in new insights for the client. Sometimes it’s not obvious at first, until I ask a few questions about the client’s attitude toward the problem. But it is often striking to me to see how their viewpoint has changed. When I reflect that back to my client their prior comments, they often react with surprise because their new viewpoint seems so normal and obvious to them. But they do recall saying that previous statement and how it felt at that time; this contrast often makes the change real and tangible for the client.
For example, say my client “Patrice” is upset from a fight with her mother. She tells me that her mother’s criticism makes her feel worthless and unlovable. After we talk a bit and do the EFT tapping, she then tells me she’s no longer upset about it because “it’s just the way my mom is. No one ever loved her and she doesn’t know how to show love. It’s not about me.” This is a huge cognitive shift for her – she sees the event and her mother more clearly and correctly identifies that it is not about her worth as a person. It is her mother’s issue.
With this insight, the damage to Patrice’s self-esteem from this event disappears. If we continue to work on incidents where her mother made her feel horrible about herself, Patrice’s self-esteem will grow stronger and stronger. She will see herself, her mother and the world differently. She will behave differently, with more confidence. She may still not love spending time with her mother, but it will no longer trigger her the way it used to.
The advantage of adding EFT to talk therapy is that these changes happen more quickly than with traditional talk therapy alone. The EFT tapping process speeds up the client’s ability to make cognitive shifts and gain insight. This is why I highly recommend it for most clients.